Your relationship to change?

Hey lovelies,

I think we all know it and experience it these days - change brings up challenges.
And stirs up conflicting parts.
Some parts who seek and long for change.
Others who resist, dig their heels in, grieve, fight.

Sometimes change is a state of contraction leading to expansion.
The inner tension before the resolution.
The birth pains. 
We may not even know we're in birthing pains until after.
How often do we look back on the breakup, the job ending, the move and find that it led us in a direction of more growth and more aliveness? 

I'm having a weird relationship with this newsletter. My instincts guide me differently this time.  I don't know when this writing is done. I lose my thread and point. I've rewritten this whole thing probably 4 times. 

Something new gives me pause. I trust that pause to evolve with clarity over time, but it's murky in the moment. In the meantime, I feel the urge to connect with you, those of you who open and read this. Those of you who might need support in this season of life. Those of you who contemplate these times, who sense into relationships of all kinds. 

As you probably know, I offer emotional help and energetic help - ways for you to grow emotionally and connect to your deeper, powerful self. These tools are gentle, loving and welcoming of all parts of you, holistic, with deep systemic results. See below for links to what I offer and to schedule a free session with me.

With love for the journey and the changing and the growing,
Marta

A bit about change that inspired me:
From Wendy May a few weeks ago:
"We need to change the way we move in the world, from the inside out.

Too many are in power without any purpose, save their own survival and self-perpetuation. And they are causing damage to collective thriving.

Too many who are called by purpose are languishing in fear or confusion, unsure how to inhabit personal power without colluding with a broken system.

I'm so tired of this shit. It's so expired, and so rotten. I can't stand it.

I am tired of seeing executives of billion dollar corporations (as well as politicians running billion dollar corporations disguised as governments), big egos enchanted by the lure of power over others, entitled elites controlling all the means of production and exchange, engaged in extraction from the shared planetary resources, padding individuals' wallets while holding up fragile identities.

I want those who are heart-led, soul deep, and divinely guided, living with higher purpose as their North Star, to stop avoiding the vehicles and vessels of energy in the manifested physical realm (as a trauma response to the abuse and misuse we've seen).  Rather I want us to learn to move with the spiritual wisdom we have gained, to infuse every movement with this deeper guidance.

I want to see us leading and creating in new ways, returning to our natural state of abundance through interdependence....   In Power, On Purpose. 

Holistic Purpose

I see you, and your big heart, and passion for the world. I see the social constraints, the challenge of sharing your gifts, the rejections, the worry about the bottom line, the fear of the marketplace. All sorts of social pressures of conformity but be unique. The clouds of fear that we live and breathe without even knowing it. 

This world disorients and ungrounds us.

And so you are determined to do your best, to contribute - whether that is through an awesome local bike shop, making great music that touches people's hearts and souls, healing you and your ancestors and those around you, teaching writing/music/dance/art, connecting with the bright spark of children, a zero waste grocery store.

And then, sometimes, in an effort to live out our purpose, we accidentally ignore internal concerns, like:

• procrastination

• "self sabotage" 

• inner criticism

• fear and anxiety

• shut down/dissociation

• "comfort now" parts taking over 

• burnout

• What else is missing from this list in your experience?

What if these are all parts of us, that have valid concerns, that wave the flag to get our attention? 

Listening to these signals of distress leads to healing and inner coherence.

We can tend ourselves. We can repair, in groups, in witnessing, in support, in bringing our own Self energy to our inner parts. In bringing the magnified group Self energy to each of us.

As healing progresses, parts either fade in their intensity or come to agreement with the big goals and gifts for your life, and how to manifest them in the world. 

Side note -I love this article by Wendy May about manifestation:
"Manifestation is not about making something happen; manifestation is about making something apparent. Before it got co-opted as a trendy new age technique for manipulating reality to our liking, manifestation in its purest form was about revealing reality as it exists already."

[Wendy May also has a book about Regenerative Purpose and I borrow that phrase from her.] 

Blessings for your big heart,
Love,
marta

Tending our spirits

Dear ones ~
How are you doing? How are you tending to yourself, to your soul, to your deep needs? How do you connect to your soul and spirit?

When I connect to my soul/spirit, I find joy and enthusiasm for the opportunity to be alive and experience all sorts of stuff in this physical body.

Many days, parts of me are not so sure about that enthusiasm, and these last few days have been rocky.

I'd like to have that true enthusiasm for life at the forefront of my life, and I'm angling in this direction. When I truly connect to that essence in me, it's so tangible, and so helpful, and such a good reminder that in some form, I chose to come here at this time, in this place, in this body. 

For some people, the concept that we chose to come here does not land well. And that makes sense - when we're in the middle of trauma, or recovering from long interwoven traumas, that sentiment can feel awful. It might feel shaming or blaming - like one chose this life, this suffering?

Feel free to take this idea or discard it or give it the finger. 
(My 8 year old son is really into swearing these days. So Much Swearing in our house! I'm welcoming his swearing parts and we parents keep talking (at him?) about when and where swearing might be ok at this time in his life - mostly anytime in our house, not so welcome with many friends families....Welcoming his parts, and welcoming my parenting parts!)

Playing with Energy for Boundaries and Giving/Receiving

In the complicated yet simple dance of being with other humans,

How we experience centeredness and security in our own selves impacts how we give and receive with others. 

Perhaps you feel the emotions of those around you. 
A potential for overwhelm because there are So Many Feelings run amok.

Perhaps you give more and more and more, hoping for a return.

Perhaps you hide from the world, living on defense, only giving a smidge.
For good reason, people have taken from you. 
Culture, work, family, friends - take and take and take.

Or perhaps you yourself need so much:
From a depth of not enoughness - not enough love, care, attention
When you were powerless and needed unconditional love
That desperation to get your needs met still lives in you.

It's all understandable.
No one is the bad guy. 
We all have parts of us out of balance in one way or another
or many ways.
We all have childhood trauma of one kind or another.
We all see and feel the trauma around us constantly. 
It's the air we live and breathe.

We bring more health by awareness, through play, through curiosity, through our imagination.
We bring more health by healing. 
We heal by attending to our emotions and our energy.

Energy underpins everything. Everything is made of energy.
Emotions
Thoughts
Beliefs
Actions
Matter and form of this world.
 

{{~~ Aura Explore ~~}}

We'll play with energy and boundaries, giving and receiving, imaginal and felt and material.
Chocolate and scarves will be involved, writing and yoga props. Intention and gentle movement. (not yoga, fyi)
A small group - so far we are six, room for up to ten. 

Saturday March 2nd, 12-1:30, Wildlight Yoga
$20
More info and sign up

In practical terms - we all have boundaries. Some of these are spoken, some of them are energetic. If you feel out of balance in your boundaries, your sense of self, your ability to give and receive, Aura Explore is a playground to explore both the concepts and the sensed experience of boundaries. 

I find that the more centered I am in my energy boundaries - the more inner agreement I have with all my parts around such boundaries - the less I need to say. As I grow towards more inner agreement, boundaries exude with simplicity, with being. And then if I need to "set" a boundary, speaking with calm and clarity becomes more natural. Sometimes, these boundaries become explorations, curiosities, a naming of needs and seeing where the needs and requests intersect and can flow together. I'm a work in progress around boundaries for sure, and its a relief to feel that progress happening!

I'm truly so excited to play and flow with some of you on Saturday!
With love,
marta

Photo by Daryl Han on Unsplash

Connecting with the Elements

Like many healing and energy modalities, AuraTransformation partners with the energy of the elements - in this case, Fire, Water, Earth, and Air.

These elements provide another way to know ourselves, get a felt sense of balance. As more healing happens, balance becomes its own wonderful side effect.

I find when I'm balanced in my elemental energy, all things feel easier, even the challenges, and I feel more alive and like more of me. I'm grounded and connected to my spirit/higher self. I have the passion and forward direction of Fire, the high vibe emotions of Water, the structure and nourishment of Earth, and clear thinking and divine inspiration from Air.  

Forcing our elements into balance does not work. Thinking them into balance does not work either. Energy and healing practices all lend themselves to the goal of balance in one way or another. 

AuraTransformation offers a path of connecting with our Elements, personally, or in hands-on sessions. In these element balancings, we partner with the Crystal energy which is itself highly balanced. It does not bypass what needs to be healed or learned. It might bring up to the light of awareness that which is ready for transformation and change. 

For example with fire, if big anger comes up on our way to more balance, probably some boundaries need attention, or connection with life force in our life choices. 

With water, if big emotions are present, we do not ignore. Instead loving, healing attention is called for with our shames, griefs, and despairs. Bypassing does not fix, it only postpones. 

And likewise, doing healing work of any kind -- all of this leads to natural element balancing within us. It's a two way, or perhaps many ways path!

In Aura Explore on March 2nd, we'll go through an Element Balancing experience as a group. In addition to Fire, Water, Earth, and Air, we'll also connect with and balance our Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine energies. And we're going to play with sensing our energy field, play with giving and receiving energy. 

With love, 
Marta

Deeper Than Water

What is deeper than water and capable of flowing with all that you bring to this world? In my view - your spirit, your soul, your essence, your Self energy, your Higher Self.

Whatever you want to call it - that which is bigger than your personality, bigger than your wounds, which holds your personality and heals wounds. This presence brings more and more of the real you into this world.

It took me So Long to get a reliable felt sense of this Self/Soul/Spirit presence of ME. In my religious upbringing, souls were paired with a threat - your soul might be damned to hell if you don't follow the rules. In IFS, I did not trust the concept of Self Energy. It did not feel possible that there was something bigger than my wounds, bigger than the parts of me that so much wanted to be heard. 

I rejected 'unblending' for such a long time. Unblending is the IFS term for having an authentic sense that a part is a part of one's True Self, and being able to relate to that part from your bigger Self. For a long time I perceived it as diminishing, uncaring towards my parts/feelings, and with some people, force in trying to make that unblending happen.

Now, after practicing IFS for over 10 years, plus adding in energy work, I totally get how unblending accelerates the healing. For me, the key was patience with my parts, and then learning energy healing, which has boosted my tangible sense of energy and of my bigger self. 

Some days I call it my soul. Some days, it's the essence of me. Today my prayer is "help me remember who I truly am, and what I am here to do".

But how to get there without force and without rushing? 

The power of water comes to mind.
The patience of a river carving the immense gorgeousness of the grand canyon.
The resilience of water carving holes in rock.
The never ending supply of water, recycling, cleansing, renewing.
Our gratitude towards water and all the gifts it brings.
Our gratitude towards our own water element in us, that brings flexibility, intuition, emotions, and connection to spirit.

{Have you seen these amazing photos of how thoughts and images imprint upon water? 
Veda Austin (@vedaaustin_water) • Instagram photos and videos
Facebook}

I regularly turn to the water element to help me remember my flow, my life force, and the power of something so dedicated and yet so flexible. 

Most mornings I stand with my hands over my water glass or mug of tea, and ask water to teach me, to help me remember. This bigger-than-me element communicates well with my spirit, often bringing grounding, love, flow into my body, helping me expand bigger than the moment, and be in the moment at the same time. 

Do you pray over your water, or connect to the water that lives in you?

With watery loving blessings,
marta

PS - Connect with the Water Element in the upcoming Aura Explore class on March 2nd.