Energy - Emotions - Purpose
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In the spotlight, it’s not just you
And then there is spotlight pressure:
⫸ On stage, in the business meeting, standing up for yourself, expressing something that goes against the flow, trusting your instincts, advocating for your kids…
When pressure shows up, the accumulated emotional debris has a way of rising to the top.
Spotlight collapse
It’s a frustrating place to be – you have something important to express – and yet you can’t find your best self when the moment counts.
The bigger you, the essence of you, disappears, collapses. And what you find instead is small scared you. Perhaps with extra sweating and body parts that don’t seem to obey your training. And maybe extra bathroom needs. And a brain that can’t think straight.
I know this pain well, as performance anxiety as a pianist brought me into the healing arts in the first place.
That unreliability of my own body – fingers, breath, brain.
Spotlight collapse - 3 realms to address
I’m on a kick of focus around “spotlight collapse” – also known as performance anxiety, also known as stage fright.
This is not just for performers - it’s for anyone who struggles under pressure. That pressure brings a kind of intensity and so much comes to the surface.
It’s a bit like a rainstorm and the sewer system, or the river, or the flood plain. There’s lots of space in theses systems to address water most of the time. But then an intense storm happens (your performance), and the amount of water (your feelings, unaddressed energies) cannot flow all at once.
And then if you haven’t addressed your emotional realm, there’s a lot of backup, taking up space. So your channels for flow are already narrowed because of the build up.
Your lungs - more breath, more freedom
Lungs also connect with permission to take up space. Collapsing, holding, and hiding show up in the lungs, which also is protection for the heart space.
When you breathe with freedom, your whole body expands and relaxes. When your lungs feel free, you want to make sounds. Sighing, sounding, crying, shouting, defending, loving, singing!
Liberated lungs, heart and throat work together to express in many ways. Exhaling is a detox mechanism, and sound can be releasing the old, or it may be expressing the joyful, connected, loving expressions.
Your natural Pro-Creation abilities
It was my son’s birthday a few weeks ago, and as I do every year, I tune into healing for our shared anniversary. His birth did not go the way I envisioned and I’ve had lots of grief every year around his birthday. This year was my easiest year yet, and the healing was simple and gentle.
I addressed “procreation conflict shocks”. It turns out these can be specific to birth and women’s bodies - as you’d expect - and it can also be for creative life force energy for all humans. Probably our pets too.
Recently I discovered that procreation conflict shocks can also be about the part of the life cycle where energy moves on to its next form. In other, shorter words, death.
>> Conflict shocks - an event or experience strong enough that it imprints on your brain, body, and psyche. Your body and psyche adapt in ways that are bio-logical, but not always pleasant or easy. << >>Procreation conflict shocks are experiences that inhibit your pro-creative abilities. ie - traumas that specifically affect your life force energy and your sacral chakra.
Appetite for Life
Depression as Suppressed Life Force:
Our Soul's Appetite for Life
I’m feeling into oppression-suppression-depression.
We’ve all had lifetimes of being the oppressor.
We’ve all had lifetimes of being the victim.
We are both in this lifetime.
Some more than others, in various ways.
To the bugs and the weeds and the woman sewing your clothes, you might be the oppressor.
To the tech overlords, you might be a powerless ninny.
In your workplace you may feel used, abused, unseen, undervalued.
In the game of world chess, most of us are treated as pawns - easily trampled and discarded.