A lot of not-knowing, a lot of possibility

Dear ones, 
I wrote this yesterday while in a very tender space:
I'm sitting here wondering what to do with my time. My son is at camp. I have space to address my to-do list. To get on with the tasks. Yet nothing feels exactly right. So I read this beautiful letter, that has some beautiful art, and musings that hit the note for me.

From Kathleen:
But we’ll notice too, that not knowing and even letting a construct of the whole world fall into the space of question - while uncomfortable - we’re still okay. Who we are in essence doesn’t actually require all those explanations.

In the space uncertainty opens up, more of who we really are, floods in. It can, it has more room.

This has been my experience lately. 
A lot of not-knowing, with a lot of discomfort, and incredible magnificence at the same time. 
Fierce and wonderful boundaries take shape that redraw my daily life. 
Immense grief of lifetimes, of present, of past, of intergalatic levels ravages me at times. 
Incredible brilliant energy floods me at times. Sometimes while I'm grieving, sometimes just living daily life, sometimes in meditation.
Energy work is speeding up. I am meeting with peers and it seems we can share our gifts. I've asked to download what they show me is possible, and what's appropriate for me. In response, my energy healing sessions are speeding up, and we cover so much more territory. Intergalatic in fact. 

That fills me with excitement! So much is possible right now! 
"The Sky's the Limit"...yes, and the sky stretches into vast spaces beyond our human sight. 

It feels awkward to transition this into sharing about my class, Revitalize. And yet, it might be just the thing that helps you in this time of the world's transition.
And goodness knows, we all need a lot of care in these times. 

Maybe you're like me and noticing the cracks in so many things, and ready for something new. 
Perhaps help to know yourself and your inner parts in a new way.
Perhaps help from energy work and the woowoo that keeps expanding possibilities. 

This is one way we can explore together. We can also simply intend our hearts and consciousness join forces in new ways that we don't know about yet. You can request the universe/God/Source send just the thing you need to move forward from this fracturing, expanding, rebuilding, grieving, and not-knowingness.

There's space for one more to join the small group of 6. We start Tuesday. 
Revitalize

With big love, my from my heart to yours,
Marta

Woo helps the manager parts

{As you maybe know, in Internal Family Systems, there are 3 general categories of inner parts:

• Managers - thinking, planning, analyzing, executing parts;

• Firefighters - looking for pleasure, comfort, and relaxation - may involve, drugs, sex, scrolling, binging, eating, sleeping;

• Exile parts - holding the deepest wounds, but also most connected to innocence, freedom, inspiration, divine realms

And Self energy - our Soul essence, the truest deepest quality of who we are.}

Our manager parts hold the most skepticism, grown-up-ness, and separation from magic, fantasy, and anything to do with the woowoo world. 

This isn't true for all people of course. Perhaps your manager parts are full on for the woo.

But if you hold skepticism, it usually rests with the managers.
If you think you "know better", that's manager code for their big thinking brains. 

Which makes sense. It's wise to have some parts of us that need proof. That need convincing. That need a reason to trust. 

There's ton of charlatans out there, trying to convince you of this, that, and the other.
There's tons of well meaning people trying to convince you, but what they offer is not actually helpful.
There's lots of people who have wonderful ways to help, but they may not be right for you at this time. 

One of the greatest gifts our managers bring is discernment.

Thank you manager parts!!

AND.
Our manager parts are so exhausted. 
The doing, the planning, the executing. 
The thinking through, the analysis, the discernment. 
Protection from the charlatans, assessing right fit, making choices.
Plus you're working a job, you have kids, you have bills, you have a home and land to tend to.

So, so very much on the plate of our manager parts. 
Whew!

If you're feeling this, can you shine some love towards your manager parts? They love this! They want to feel appreciated and seen!

One way to help lighten their load - invite them to the woo.

Bringing Woo to our Manager Parts - July 16th

 In this free class, we're connecting with our managers, feeling them, acknowledging how they work for you, we're shining love on them. 

 And then, I'll be tuning into the energy level, inviting you to do the same, and addressing deep layers. 

Perhaps we'll address the indoctrination to work hard. Hard work = salvation. Hard work = how we get respect and recognition. 

Perhaps perfectionism. If we're perfect, then we can't get hurt. If we're perfect then we'll get the reward. 

Perhaps the belief that they alone can run the show. 

Perhaps we'll address looping patterns that keep us critical of ourselves, critical of everyone around us, keeping us blaming the other. 

Perhaps addressing the belief that we must know how before taking steps, we must have a plan before moving forward. 

We don't know exactly what will come up until we're together, but I have a feeling it will be powerful. 

Register here. 
Live and recorded. 

Bringing Woo to our Manager Parts
Wed July 16th
6 pm CDT

With love for the journey,
Marta

How I healed my autoimmunity

Many years ago I had thyroid autoimmune issues. First, I had an under-active thyroid, then Hashimotos disease. Next came a serious case of Graves disease - overactive thyroid. 

I had difficulty sleeping. I was hot all the time, and my eyes started bulging, too.
 

I started drugs to suppress my thyroid hormones, and the medical folks suggested killing the thyroid and taking thyroid drugs for the rest of my life.

Since I grew up in a holistic house, with a mom who is a homeopath, the idea of taking drugs, much less killing my thyroid, was pretty much anathema to me.

I had to take the drugs or I couldn't function. But I was determined to heal naturally. (Manager parts with a plan!)

I tried so many things: many herbs, acupuncture, homeopathy, frequency machines. I worked really hard at a clean, strict diet for years. (Manager parts being 'good', following rules, trying to fix.)

This all helped reduce my symptoms, but didn't completely fix the problem.

I spent hours in therapy lamenting my inability to change this autoimmunity. My body attacking itself. (Manager parts confronting their inability to force health.)

I felt embarrassed and shameful for having a disease. (Exile parts, the most vulnerable parts, feeling humiliated and powerless.)

With the help of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, I eventually gave up a need to control the situation, and focused on my inner emotional healing. (Self energy showing up.)

A few years later, my thyroid returned to normal and I haven't had any thyroid symptoms since. 

I attribute most of my healing to IFS therapy, where I allowed the energy to move through my throat chakra (where the thyroid lives) through talking, crying, laughing, singing, sobbing, and screaming. 

IFS therapy is so fantastic at welcoming all parts of a person, bringing voices and aspects and energies into conscious awareness and allowing them to speak or share in any way that works for them.

This is energy work. It's allowing our energy to move and flow through the vehicle of our inner parts. It is trusting our body and inner knowing about what it needs to process and release.

My specialty isn't physical disease - but attending to all the emotional issues in a person is. Sometimes these emotional issues cause or contribute to illness or dis-ease. 

Love for all of us at this continuing intense time. 
Marta

More about IFS here.

During wild times, the heart is the beacon

In this crucible of upheaval, we need your tender heart. We need courageous hearts, unafraid to be seen, unafraid to love expansively. 

These extraordinary times call for more heart. 

We hold back because of so many wounds - childhood, many lifetimes, ancestral burdens. 

Our hearts take a beating from this intense world.
Many experience a broken heart.
There is more though - energetic heart walls, heart cracks, heart holes, frozen hearts, numb hearts, shadow side of the heart. 
Heart enmeshments, entanglements, projections, cords. 

All of these imbalances hold stories and needs, leading most to seek more protection, more coverage, more control.
Which often becomes blame, othering, shaming, separating. 

Understandable, especially for sensitive folk. 

If you consider yourself sensitive or highly sensitive, you might feel the traumas of the world in the air we breathe in a way that isn't logical. From conception or birth or early years, you sense the world's anguish. You were born into a world filled with wars and starvation and brutality - and you feel it on some level.

You need to protect your heart - because walking around with an open heart hurts too much. And it's really hard to function with your heart hurting all the time. 

But, we can heal those energetic wounds to the heart, restore it to its full health. 

And then you can be sensitive and strong.
Tender and courageous. 
Caring, deeply feeling, yet steady in your own self. 
Accepting of yourself.
Unconditional love.
In flow with true abundance.

Your heart knows the way. Wiser than our brains, a liberated and energetically healthy heart leads with courage. Your heart can flow with mistakes and ouches, process grief, and become the beacon for your more fulfilled life. 

Ask your heart what it needs today so that it can be free, so that it can serve you and those around you. 

The push-pull to perform and create.

I believe all of us have performer and creator desires, and performer/creative wounds.

Our very nature as humans is to share our gifts and talents. And yet, all of us have been met at times with criticism and rejection of our offerings. From young ages, throughout school, from peers, from teachers.

And then if you are pursuing the creative arts as an adult, you probably are putting your gifts on display for auditions, submissions, the socials, newsletters, entrepreneur endeavors.

It’s a big deal.

Especially for sensitive folks.

At heart, that is all of us.

(Maybe that sensitivity is buried under a lot of layers for some.)

Seeking mastery has a blurry line regarding helpful feedback vs criticism that creates wounds. Sometimes our guides and mentors truly are mean or even abusive. Sometimes it’s in the eye/body of the beholder. I know I was sensitive to feedback of all kinds for most of my life - taking it all so personally.

Some of us end up holding back, over-analyzing, self-criticizing, or giving up. We shrink. We self-censor our inspirations.

Rep Rallies are an opportunity to free yourself from these wounds and have a safe space to explore your performing and creative desires.

Usually, musicians come to the Rep Rallies, but I envision this format working for anyone who wants help with their creative flow. Could be for writers, painters, actors, public speakers.

Wherever you need to create something, and you feel held back, bring that project to a Rally. Everyone gets 10 minutes of spotlight time - and you can use that to do any artistic pursuit. You can receive energy work during this time, or accolades from the group, or feedback. It’s all your choice.

Rep Rally

Sunday, Feb 2nd, 3-5 pm

~ 10 minutes spotlight time per person

~ group energy work, often some personal energy work as well

~ releasing trapped emotions/imbalances regarding past auditions, procrastination, deep fears, etc.

~ $40

~ 6 people max

~ NW of Chicago, near Lawrence and Milwaukee

Register here

Didn’t I heal that already?

Dear Ones,

"We have to deal with this issue again?" 
This is such a common sentiment when circling around the spiral path of healing and growing. 

In this video I talk about how normal this is. I have this response in myself too, and some shame. When my core issues show up, I always want to say, "I did my homework! Do I have to do it again?"

In case you don't like to watch videos, here's the summary.
1. This is SO normal and common to feel frustrated when the same old issues come up time and again. Especially when you know the content of why you have the core wound.

2. What is fresh about it in this moment? What needs to be witnessed and gotten on a new level now? You're a different person now than last time it came up. 

3. Get to the essence. Maybe you don't need to talk about it anymore. Maybe you don't like talking about your feelings. Can you feel into the essence, into the core of this core issue?

4. Muscle testing expedites getting to the essence. There may be a hundred factors at play with a core wound - what aspect needs attention now? 

The addition of muscle testing brings relief for people, as we get laser focus on your body and subconscious' top priorities. Sometimes we find the trapped emotion or trapped imbalance, and validation resonates, tears flow, softening happens, and the next layer of dissolving or evolving commences. 

My belief and wish: as you tend to the old wounds, more of you is present in this here and now to tend to whatever changes and growing comes your way.

Your ability to stay present to yourself, and in yourself, is important as fires rage, political establishments change, and people experience all sorts of personal changes.

Staying present to yourself, and your whole wide range of feelings, brings more personal power to be with what transpires.

Sending my sacred heart's wishes to you, and love for the journey,
Marta