In the spotlight, it’s not just you

The pressures these days!

Whew!

What are you noticing? Where does it show up for you?
Financial. Sleep. Relationships. Kids. Work.
I mean, it’s all on the list, right?

For so many I know (me too!), pressures coming from many directions.

The pressures of the spotlight

⫸ On stage, in the business meeting, standing up for yourself, expressing something that goes against the flow, trusting your instincts, advocating for your kids…

When pressure shows up, the accumulated emotional debris has a way of rising to the top.

• Your anxiety goes from mid-low range to high alert.

• Your inner critic doesn’t shut up, maybe even screaming at you.

• The blame commences– you feel blame towards yourself, your parents, the people in the room, the world, the aliens.

• Your legs shake.

• Shame for being seen, shame for getting it wrong.

Or maybe it’s the opposite for you:

• You get extra tired, sleepy or foggy brained.

• You can’t think straight.

• You want to hide.

Maybe you have one of these, or all of them!

Turns out, regardless of the pressure situation – the energies and feelings are not all yours!

For example - you show up to your spotlight - on stage, the boardroom, the classroom - and you feel tremendous anxiety, panic even. Maybe it feels life threatening. Which your brain says doesn’t make sense.

Ancestor and soul baggage

But it does make sense, because you’ve got some ancestor epigenetics and soul memories of the times that were life threatening:

• ancestor/soul experience of being hauled into town square for ritual humiliation or physical punishments or death

• ancestor/soul experience of being captured and chained for slavery

• ancestor/soul/present lifetime of war and genocide

• ancestor/soul/present lifetime of sexual assaults as a woman lead to blame and public shaming

When these other lifetimes/timelines meet a present day fear YOU are experiencing, its like a chemical reaction that magnifies many times over.

You think it’s your own, because it’s in you.

But what if you and we can release what’s not yours?

⫸ This has been one of the biggest life learnings for me when I realized this AND continue to implement tools so that I’m dealing with only MY portion of the shenanigans under pressure. And bringing healing to my ancestors, my souls, and the collective.

Now I’m learning to partner with the positive forces even more, and Laura Kimmel will bring that angle in our upcoming free class.

Wednesday, Sept 2nd, 6 pm CDT

FREE GROUP ENERGY SESSION

Natural Confidence

⪼ We’re releasing the ancestral, the soul level, the traumas through Energy Attunements

⪼ We’re opening to connecting with the very powerful and supportive positive energies.

⪼ Now is the time for you to shine. To enjoy yourself under pressure! To be more of your Natural Self.

With big love for these big times,
Marta

PS - what kinds of pressures are you experiencing?

PPS - no AI used in writing this newsletter.

Free Group Session - Natural Confidence

Spotlight collapse

Authenticity in Communication

I went to a free marketing thing for a couple of days and decided it had the ick factor. Just like in life, I was pulled in by promises and curiosity – they knew very well how to name my pain, and make promises to help, with assurances of no smarm.

But it did end up feeling yucky to me. Using hooks and templates. And pressure about “if you’re not ready for this upgrade”. Doesn’t that seem like an insult?

I realized over the week that I heard their scripts running through my head – that gave me the heebeejeebies. I never want to have someone else’s vibe coming through me. I’m sure it happens – we are all woven together. But if it’s strong enough that I can identify that it’s not my voice, that’s a problem!

It makes me wonder if they were using neurolinguistic programming techniques….

And I’m willing to be wrong! Perhaps my assessment of this woman had more to do with my fears than it did about her quality. But don’t we all fear getting bamboozled by marketing, sales, pressure?

Sharing of yourself in the spotlight

Marketing shares similarities to performing, and I imagine to do it well, one comes more alive in sharing of the thing they want to share! And when done well, in performing and marketing - it becomes win-win.

Anyways, we’re all looking for help for our weak spots, for bringing the most aliveness to our gifts in the world.

And you perhaps have gifts to share with the world that can’t come out as freely and joyfully yet as you wish.

Particular problems of collapse in the spotlight.

It’s a frustrating place to be – you have something important to express – and yet you can’t find your best self when the moment counts.

The bigger you, the essence of you, disappears, collapses. And what you find instead is small scared you. Perhaps with extra sweating and body parts that don’t seem to obey your training. And maybe extra bathroom needs. And a brain that can’t think straight.

I know this pain well, as performance anxiety as a pianist brought me into the healing arts in the first place.

That unreliability of my own body – fingers, breath, brain.

Not knowing who would show up on stage – scared Marta or capable and confident Marta.

For a long time, I believed that scared Marta was more of the truth of me, and the confident Marta was the fake.

Confidence is both your birthright and earned

There are some elements that allow confidence that take practice and certain skills. Certain mechanics, certain brain training.

And there are other ways of being and healing that uncover your innate sense of self. Allowing a deeper connection than performing from ego or parts of your personality.

If you’d like to engage on this topic, I’d love to know what trips you up when you’re under pressure. What feels unreliable to you in performance? What has worked for you in finding your grounding and capability? Where and how do you notice limits or stuckness? Are you performing these days and do you enjoy it?

With big love, always,

Marta

PS - No AI used in the writing of this newsletter. All mistakes are mine. Happy to be human in my imperfections and allowing some of them to be seen here today.

Spotlight collapse - 3 realms to address

I’m on a kick of focus around “spotlight collapse” – also known as performance anxiety, also known as stage fright.

This is not just for performers - it’s for anyone who struggles under pressure. That pressure brings a kind of intensity and so much comes to the surface.

It’s a bit like a rainstorm and the sewer system, or the river, or the flood plain. There’s lots of space in theses systems to address water most of the time. But then an intense storm happens (your performance), and the amount of water (your feelings, unaddressed energies) cannot flow all at once.

And then if you haven’t addressed your emotional realm, there’s a lot of backup, taking up space. So your channels for flow are already narrowed because of the build up.

The good news: these pressurized situations are also ideal for healing/growing. The big flow of energy has the potential for cleaning up and clearing out the accumulated debris hanging out in your flow channels.

My suggestion for addressing Spotlight Collapse

1. The mechanicals:

Get some really good practice tools.

Really solid techniques in case fear takes over when you’re in the spotlight.

These have saved my butt big time.

2. Address your emotional roots:

What parts of you get scared? Why? Where did this originate? Performance anxiety is one form of massive inner flags waving, saying HELP ME!!! These cries for help might roar to the surface when you’re under pressure, but it’s most likely under the surface all the time.

3. Get woo-woo:

All of the woo-woo overlaps with the emotional roots, and while some of this may feel like a stretch to some people, it actually ends up being incredibly helpful.

⪼ Conflict shocks are particular events that physically imprint in your brain, your tissues adapt, and your psyche takes on beliefs. There are several types of conflict shocks that particularly contribute to anxiety.

⪼ Your ancestors have been through some serious, life challenging, life-changing sh*t. When those events are big enough, it imprints on the DNA and gets passed down through epigenetics.

Every person I’ve worked with – whew, your ancestors have carried some massive burdens! Your DNA and cells remember this – AND this can be addressed - resolved/evolved/dissolved.

⪼ If you want to get more woo-woo – and I always want to – let’s look at your soul(s). They too have been through the wringer.

This one was one of the major keys for me to more liberation, addressing some of the soul level crap that went down as a musician in another lifetime.

💫 And I’m coming to believe, this is the lifetime to bring in all the lessons, and re-orient towards remembering our divine spark and shine into our gifts - for the world and for our own enjoyment of life!

~~~~~~~~~~

These 3 realms you can address on your own. Which is fantastic, because we all need to take responsibility for our own lives, and so much of this involves inner processes.

AND it can expedite your path when working with someone who has already addressed all of these arenas. It gives a sort of blueprint for your energy/spirit to read and it becomes an energetic map that you follow on a subconscious or energetic level.

If you’re interested in getting some help with me, I suggest a free “Soul of your Performer Self - Discovery Call”.

I currently offer sessions as needed for you, so there is no pressure. You sign up for Inner Artist sessions as you feel the need or desire. I’m thinking of putting together some packages though, so you can have a cohesive plan tailored to you. Is this of interest to you?

What tools have you used to address performance anxiety, and what is working well for you these days? What is not working well?

💗 Big love to you! We all need it, and we all deserve it! 💗
Marta

No AI knowingly used in the content of this blog.

Your lungs - more breath, more freedom

Lovely One,

How are you doing? Do you find these times exciting? Thrilling? Enlivening? Terrifying? Gratitude-inducing? Stomach-clenching?

I’m altering between waves of gratitude and then fear as I tiptoe into new arenas. Travel to an amazing retreat, which brought up anxieties, with so much newness. But the rewards for being there, meeting so many luscious people…totally worth it. Even when our little car spun it’s wheels on too much fresh dirt on the steep mountain road….We made it up and into the glory of StarHouse 4 days in a row. What a treat!

Forests - the lungs of our planet

In Chicago, we were blanketed in smoke this past week. Wildfires in Canada sharing their grief and rage. My sister lives 60 miles from Canada in Northern MN, and it rained ash on them.

Because I now distrust almost anything that comes from government or “authority” I had to go for a walk in the smoke to see for myself if it was true - should we all stay inside? I have healthy lungs, do I too need to remain indoors?

It was true that my lungs felt the effects and my body did not like being outdoors!

Our lungs hold our griefs, this knowledge known through traditional Chinese medicine, but no doubt discovered by many over the centuries. I cannot help but wonder if the earth near the wildfires exhales her rage so that she can then release the grief in her forest lungs?

My sister pointed out that there are lots of dead trees in her region. An invasive bug kills spruce and balsam, so the region is a tinderbox and ripe for fires.

Both can be true - the physical reality of dry and dead wood, and the earth might use such times for moving and healing energies.

I understand from writers like Gavin Mounsey that clear cutting ancient forests continues in Canada. Can you believe it? I find it shocking and horrifying and worthy of rage and massive grief.

Lungs and the conflict shocks that affect them:

Conflict shocks are any events or ways of being strong enough that leave imprints physically in the brain, tissues adapt in the body, and the psyche takes on beliefs - all connected together in body-mind-spirit. More about conflict shocks.

The conflict shocks of “scare-fright”, “territorial fright”, “death fright”, “fear of not enough air/suffocation” contribute to lung issues.

Scare-fright is obvious - when we’re deeply frightened, that imprint settles in parts of the brain that connect with the lungs.

Territorial fright has to do with your sense of ownership and sovereignty of your own body. But this also extends to anything that has a sense of belonging to you and you to it - your children, your family, property, homeland, etc.

Death fright is for yourself or your loved ones.

Fear of not enough air can be about literal suffocation, it can be from a challenging birth, and it can also be metaphorically feeling smothered.

⭐ These conflict shocks show up as lingering coughs, asthma, bronchitis, pneumonia, frozen or tight diaphragm, tightness in upper chest and shoulders (this last one was/is my biggest symptom).

Permission to take up space and sound

Lungs also connect with permission to take up space. Collapsing, holding, and hiding show up in the lungs, which also is protection for the heart space.

When you breathe with freedom, your whole body expands and relaxes. When your lungs feel free, you want to make sounds. Sighing, sounding, crying, shouting, defending, loving, singing!

Liberated lungs, heart and throat work together to express in many ways. Exhaling is a detox mechanism, and sound can be releasing the old, or it may be expressing the joyful, connected, loving expressions.

Work with your conflict shocks

Identify the times you’ve felt the panic, fear, lack of air, and holding in, and notice when it gets activated in you in present day. When this happens, bring awareness and invite yourself to release the imprints physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Ask for help from God/Source or whoever you turn to for help.

In Inner Artist sessions I use pendulum testing and intuition to find the origin points for your intention, connecting with your higher self and Source guidance. We listen to the stories and memories together, your intuitions and knowings weaving in, bringing compassion and love to the hurts and traumas. And asking the healers in the spirit realm to release thoroughly, quickly, and gently.

🫁 If you have lung issues (asthma, bronchitis, ongoing cough, collapsing, held breath, tightness in shoulders and upper chest, etc) you could explore these prompts:

• What are my lungs holding for me?

• What would my lungs like me to know?

• When I listen to my lungs, what stories come to mind?

• Without rushing and without pressure, are my lungs ready to dissolve and release any stories or holding in this moment?

With big loving breath, 💙💨💙
Marta

PS - never generated by AI. Not even proof read. All mistakes are my own. I confess to using AI for SEO on this website though…

Your natural Pro-Creation abilities

✨ I see you, beautiful CREATOR BEING.

You create in every moment.

Your PRO-CREATIVE abilities flow sometimes more easily than others.

Pro-creation held up by fears.

So natural. The old story. And yet so true:

Pro-creation might be held up by wanting to hide, disorganization, resistances, procrastination. Patterns, habits, overwhelmed by culture. The fun of creating drained by school and trainings.

So much held up by FEAR.

Understandable, when we look at our culture now and human history. Those standing out get their heads chopped off, burned at the stake, tortured, bankruptcy, cancel culture and more.

Our little lizard brains remember this….

But we can also address and release these fears!

~~~~~~~~~~

Pro-creation conflict shocks

It was my son’s birthday a few weeks ago, and as I do every year, I tune into healing for our shared anniversary. His birth did not go the way I envisioned and I’ve had lots of grief every year around his birthday. This year was my easiest year yet, and the healing was simple and gentle.

I addressed “procreation conflict shocks”. It turns out these can be specific to birth and women’s bodies - as you’d expect - and it can also be for creative life force energy for all humans. Probably our pets too.

Recently I discovered that procreation conflict shocks can also be about the part of the life cycle where energy moves on to its next form. In other, shorter words, death.

>> Conflict shocks - an event or experience strong enough that it imprints on your brain, body, and psyche. Your body and psyche adapt in ways that are bio-logical, but not always pleasant or easy. <<  >>Procreation conflict shocks are experiences that inhibit your pro-creative abilities. ie - traumas that specifically affect your life force energy and your sacral chakra.

Procreation of course has to do with all aspects of creating, growing, holding, birthing, and nurturing a human baby. ✨And Pro-Creation = creative life force energy for all endeavors, for how we live our lives. ✨All the things we need to grow a human apply to life projects - inspiration, love, vitality, follow through, determination. ✨Dealing with failure, mystery, circular or spiral routes. ✨Partnering with the divine, community and loved ones.

Healing your natural life-force energy

If you feel stuck with your creative projects (or pregnancy) explore if “procreation conflict shocks” resonate for you. Place a hand on your belly, breath into your sacral chakra, and ask to be shown if you have Procreation conflict shocks.

Honestly, we probably all do! If this resonates for you, ask to clear, heal and release these energies. Ask to be shown your best way to release. Listen for your guidance and partnership with your higher self and Source/God/Divine Creative Powers.

May we all breath and move with our creative life force energies!

With love and blessings,
marta

PS - everything written by me, no AI involved from the conscious choice level.

Appetite for Life

Depression as Suppressed Life Force

Our Soul's Appetite for Life

I’m feeling into oppression-suppression-depression.

We’ve all had lifetimes of being the oppressor.

We’ve all had lifetimes of being the victim.

We are both in this lifetime.

Some more than others, in various ways.

To the bugs and the weeds and the woman sewing your clothes, you might be the oppressor.

To the tech overlords, you might be a powerless ninny.

In your workplace you may feel used, abused, unseen, undervalued.

In the game of world chess, most of us are treated as pawns - easily trampled and discarded.

The energy field of depression

Turning this kind of energy inward on ourselves, it becomes depression - we are both our own oppressor and victim of ourselves.

In the energy field, oppression-suppression-depression entangle with one another. We learn to oppress our most tender parts. We suppress our soul’s truest desires and a depression takes shape as the desire hits walls and lids and boxes.

We build walls and boxes and armor to protect ourselves from the outside irritation-harassment-violence. But that armor ends up keeping our energy in the suppression and depression valley.

There are powerful forces that want us to stay in these muted, hemmed in force fields. We believe the fields are forceful, impenetrable. The belief is what allows the external to oppress and suppress.

Those grooves get worn, we believe that we’re out of seratonin. We are told we need a pill. We try some pills, injections, drugs, sugar, screens.

(Oh sugar and screens, my go-to soothings.)

For me, I heard last week about the “appetite for life”. In other timelines, that energy of appetite is destructive, devouring people, landscapes, hoarding gold. In this lifetime, the appetite turned to chocolate to sooth and settle and numb.

Unleashing true desires

I’m commanding to awaken my soul’s truest desires and in-service-appetite for life. Like a lion, it has been kept from it’s wild nature, held in safety and softness by walls and butchered meat.

This awakens in me, you, all of us. We’re in this shared field of growth. I hear from many about the depths of exploration and the fertile growth coming to the surface.

The potentials explode and more hope in your cells and on the horizon. More empowerment, more growth. We are on path, on track! You are in right timing!

(Explore Inner Artist sessions for your reconnecting to your Appetite for Life.)