Energy - Emotions - Purpose
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Pandemic - nervous system overload
My nervous system has really been an intense mess during this pandemic. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. My parts have exploded, as I think has been true for every living human, and they need a lot of attention and help. Plus my four year old and his internal parts need extra these days too. It’s a lot. We’re all dealing with a whole lot right now.
This post is about one specific internal shift that has helped me, but at the bottom are some other ideas that have helped my nervous system.
I'm working towards a fuller internal democracy, including my firefighter parts, inviting them all to show up exactly as they truly are. I thought I had welcomed the firefighters in by allowing myself to eat as much chocolate as I wanted, and sometimes eat a lot of cookies. But it turns out that was like a halfway invitation, and they were still being smothered by the managers most of the time.
Under Pressure: A Love Letter to You
It is not your fault if your body gets triggered into fight/flight/freeze/fawn when under pressure. You, my dear, are human. This is our biology. This wiring in our bodies is good. It is protective. It is helping us stay safe. This is what we do when our bodies and our nervous systems do not feel safe.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll - Appreciating Our Firefighter Parts
The short version of this post: an invitation to view our parts that 'act out' by over-eating, excess drinking, drug use, cutting, rage, compulsive shopping - to view these parts that take these actions with compassion. Firefighter parts want comfort now, and they are fueled by the pain that our Exiles hold.
Elusive Breath
What a deeply frustrating experience when we’ve trained our bodies to perform so precisely, so specifically, with such highly refined calibration – and then adrenaline and nerves mess it up.
It's so disappointing to be human, with inner parts of one’s personality not on board with the passions that lie close to our hearts, with parts that get afraid. With parts that might especially get afraid because these desires are so very near and dear to who we are as a person.
Embracing inconsistency
All of this to say, I’m writing to tell you that I’m embracing inconsistency with blog posting.
For many years, I had the burning itch to write, to share what I was learning, to teach, to have something of value to offer. It was a drive. Inspiration would light me up and I would delight in getting something out in the world.
But now, that drive is on the down low. I still have ideas. Loads of ideas. But the parts that were driving me so hard to get blog posts written and published, I think they are taking a nap. Or a vacation.
Quick Tip #2: Gratitude
When I sat down at the piano bench, after Karina's beautiful playing, my body experienced a wide variety of intense feelings. Gratitude and warmth for music, for my grandma, for all the people in the church who loved her deeply. Appreciation that she asked me to play. Gratitude that I could fulfill this request for her.
And nerves. Adrenaline crackling in my arms and legs, heart pounding, fingers and legs shaking.