Energy - Emotions - Purpose
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Spotlight collapse
It’s a frustrating place to be – you have something important to express – and yet you can’t find your best self when the moment counts.
The bigger you, the essence of you, disappears, collapses. And what you find instead is small scared you. Perhaps with extra sweating and body parts that don’t seem to obey your training. And maybe extra bathroom needs. And a brain that can’t think straight.
I know this pain well, as performance anxiety as a pianist brought me into the healing arts in the first place.
That unreliability of my own body – fingers, breath, brain.
Spotlight collapse - 3 realms to address
I’m on a kick of focus around “spotlight collapse” – also known as performance anxiety, also known as stage fright.
This is not just for performers - it’s for anyone who struggles under pressure. That pressure brings a kind of intensity and so much comes to the surface.
It’s a bit like a rainstorm and the sewer system, or the river, or the flood plain. There’s lots of space in theses systems to address water most of the time. But then an intense storm happens (your performance), and the amount of water (your feelings, unaddressed energies) cannot flow all at once.
And then if you haven’t addressed your emotional realm, there’s a lot of backup, taking up space. So your channels for flow are already narrowed because of the build up.
When pressure brings up panic
Do you know this situation:
Sweating, shaking, cotton mouth, you need to pee. Your brain doesn’t feel right. You can’t find your thoughts, much less put them into words.
You want to hide….but you’re a grown up, so you force yourself to stay and do the thing you planned to do.
<<You might call this performance anxiety, stage fright, introversion, or high sensitivity.>>