Spotlight collapse

Authenticity in Communication

I went to a free marketing thing for a couple of days and decided it had the ick factor. Just like in life, I was pulled in by promises and curiosity – they knew very well how to name my pain, and make promises to help, with assurances of no smarm.

But it did end up feeling yucky to me. Using hooks and templates. And pressure about “if you’re not ready for this upgrade”. Doesn’t that seem like an insult?

I realized over the week that I heard their scripts running through my head – that gave me the heebeejeebies. I never want to have someone else’s vibe coming through me. I’m sure it happens – we are all woven together. But if it’s strong enough that I can identify that it’s not my voice, that’s a problem!

It makes me wonder if they were using neurolinguistic programming techniques….

And I’m willing to be wrong! Perhaps my assessment of this woman had more to do with my fears than it did about her quality. But don’t we all fear getting bamboozled by marketing, sales, pressure?

Sharing of yourself in the spotlight

Marketing shares similarities to performing, and I imagine to do it well, one comes more alive in sharing of the thing they want to share! And when done well, in performing and marketing - it becomes win-win.

Anyways, we’re all looking for help for our weak spots, for bringing the most aliveness to our gifts in the world.

And you perhaps have gifts to share with the world that can’t come out as freely and joyfully yet as you wish.

Particular problems of collapse in the spotlight.

It’s a frustrating place to be – you have something important to express – and yet you can’t find your best self when the moment counts.

The bigger you, the essence of you, disappears, collapses. And what you find instead is small scared you. Perhaps with extra sweating and body parts that don’t seem to obey your training. And maybe extra bathroom needs. And a brain that can’t think straight.

I know this pain well, as performance anxiety as a pianist brought me into the healing arts in the first place.

That unreliability of my own body – fingers, breath, brain.

Not knowing who would show up on stage – scared Marta or capable and confident Marta.

For a long time, I believed that scared Marta was more of the truth of me, and the confident Marta was the fake.

Confidence is both your birthright and earned

There are some elements that allow confidence that take practice and certain skills. Certain mechanics, certain brain training.

And there are other ways of being and healing that uncover your innate sense of self. Allowing a deeper connection than performing from ego or parts of your personality.

If you’d like to engage on this topic, I’d love to know what trips you up when you’re under pressure. What feels unreliable to you in performance? What has worked for you in finding your grounding and capability? Where and how do you notice limits or stuckness? Are you performing these days and do you enjoy it?

With big love, always,

Marta

PS - No AI used in the writing of this newsletter. All mistakes are mine. Happy to be human in my imperfections and allowing some of them to be seen here today.

Spotlight collapse - 3 realms to address

I’m on a kick of focus around “spotlight collapse” – also known as performance anxiety, also known as stage fright.

This is not just for performers - it’s for anyone who struggles under pressure. That pressure brings a kind of intensity and so much comes to the surface.

It’s a bit like a rainstorm and the sewer system, or the river, or the flood plain. There’s lots of space in theses systems to address water most of the time. But then an intense storm happens (your performance), and the amount of water (your feelings, unaddressed energies) cannot flow all at once.

And then if you haven’t addressed your emotional realm, there’s a lot of backup, taking up space. So your channels for flow are already narrowed because of the build up.

The good news: these pressurized situations are also ideal for healing/growing. The big flow of energy has the potential for cleaning up and clearing out the accumulated debris hanging out in your flow channels.

My suggestion for addressing Spotlight Collapse

1. The mechanicals:

Get some really good practice tools.

Really solid techniques in case fear takes over when you’re in the spotlight.

These have saved my butt big time.

2. Address your emotional roots:

What parts of you get scared? Why? Where did this originate? Performance anxiety is one form of massive inner flags waving, saying HELP ME!!! These cries for help might roar to the surface when you’re under pressure, but it’s most likely under the surface all the time.

3. Get woo-woo:

All of the woo-woo overlaps with the emotional roots, and while some of this may feel like a stretch to some people, it actually ends up being incredibly helpful.

⪼ Conflict shocks are particular events that physically imprint in your brain, your tissues adapt, and your psyche takes on beliefs. There are several types of conflict shocks that particularly contribute to anxiety.

⪼ Your ancestors have been through some serious, life challenging, life-changing sh*t. When those events are big enough, it imprints on the DNA and gets passed down through epigenetics.

Every person I’ve worked with – whew, your ancestors have carried some massive burdens! Your DNA and cells remember this – AND this can be addressed - resolved/evolved/dissolved.

⪼ If you want to get more woo-woo – and I always want to – let’s look at your soul(s). They too have been through the wringer.

This one was one of the major keys for me to more liberation, addressing some of the soul level crap that went down as a musician in another lifetime.

💫 And I’m coming to believe, this is the lifetime to bring in all the lessons, and re-orient towards remembering our divine spark and shine into our gifts - for the world and for our own enjoyment of life!

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These 3 realms you can address on your own. Which is fantastic, because we all need to take responsibility for our own lives, and so much of this involves inner processes.

AND it can expedite your path when working with someone who has already addressed all of these arenas. It gives a sort of blueprint for your energy/spirit to read and it becomes an energetic map that you follow on a subconscious or energetic level.

If you’re interested in getting some help with me, I suggest a free “Soul of your Performer Self - Discovery Call”.

I currently offer sessions as needed for you, so there is no pressure. You sign up for Inner Artist sessions as you feel the need or desire. I’m thinking of putting together some packages though, so you can have a cohesive plan tailored to you. Is this of interest to you?

What tools have you used to address performance anxiety, and what is working well for you these days? What is not working well?

💗 Big love to you! We all need it, and we all deserve it! 💗
Marta

No AI knowingly used in the content of this blog.