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Perfectionism and Precision
Short answer - perfectionism limits and constrains while precision inspires and focuses.
And why would this topic be relevant now in December, such a busy time of year?
Well, our patterns get highlighted when stress levels rise. Which makes them more obvious, which then also helps us address them!
I remember when a music colleague first called me a perfectionist - maybe 20 years ago - and I was shocked. I seriously thought I was just doing what everyone needed to do to do their best.
This is so common in people I work with - we think we're just doing what's expected and normal. But really, our commitment to perfection as an essential goal + an Inner Critic that goes wild when “mistakes” happen = perfectionism.
It is normal to encounter perfectionism in our culture. That doesn't mean it's good for us on the physical, mental, emotional, or soul levels!
We can aim towards precision and high achievement, while finding more balance internally. Here are some differences between the two:
Playing safe is risky business
The impossible goal of being PERFECT keeps showing up in my life. I remember years ago a colleague of mine saying to me something about being a perfectionist and I thought, 'really? I'm so very far from perfect, how can he see me as a perfectionist?' That stayed with me because it made me realize that my goal of appearing perfect was coming across as something different - hard on myself, unforgiving, driven, upset by mistakes. My secret desire to appear perfect was backfiring!
How do you react to feedback?
My last newsletter resonated with many of you, about judgment and perfectionism. I love how one reader said it “struck a rather dissonant chord”. I thought I’d write a bit more about perfectionism for those who related to this topic.
Perfectionism is similar to the Inner Critic, in that it often turns into all or nothing – either I passed, succeeded with no noticeable mistakes, or I failed because my mistakes were noticeable. The thing is, we are never perfect. We just aren’t. We’re human, and part of being human is making mistakes.