Spotlight collapse

Authenticity in Communication

I went to a free marketing thing for a couple of days and decided it had the ick factor. Just like in life, I was pulled in by promises and curiosity – they knew very well how to name my pain, and make promises to help, with assurances of no smarm.

But it did end up feeling yucky to me. Using hooks and templates. And pressure about “if you’re not ready for this upgrade”. Doesn’t that seem like an insult?

I realized over the week that I heard their scripts running through my head – that gave me the heebeejeebies. I never want to have someone else’s vibe coming through me. I’m sure it happens – we are all woven together. But if it’s strong enough that I can identify that it’s not my voice, that’s a problem!

It makes me wonder if they were using neurolinguistic programming techniques….

And I’m willing to be wrong! Perhaps my assessment of this woman had more to do with my fears than it did about her quality. But don’t we all fear getting bamboozled by marketing, sales, pressure?

Sharing of yourself in the spotlight

Marketing shares similarities to performing, and I imagine to do it well, one comes more alive in sharing of the thing they want to share! And when done well, in performing and marketing - it becomes win-win.

Anyways, we’re all looking for help for our weak spots, for bringing the most aliveness to our gifts in the world.

And you perhaps have gifts to share with the world that can’t come out as freely and joyfully yet as you wish.

Particular problems of collapse in the spotlight.

It’s a frustrating place to be – you have something important to express – and yet you can’t find your best self when the moment counts.

The bigger you, the essence of you, disappears, collapses. And what you find instead is small scared you. Perhaps with extra sweating and body parts that don’t seem to obey your training. And maybe extra bathroom needs. And a brain that can’t think straight.

I know this pain well, as performance anxiety as a pianist brought me into the healing arts in the first place.

That unreliability of my own body – fingers, breath, brain.

Not knowing who would show up on stage – scared Marta or capable and confident Marta.

For a long time, I believed that scared Marta was more of the truth of me, and the confident Marta was the fake.

Confidence is both your birthright and earned

There are some elements that allow confidence that take practice and certain skills. Certain mechanics, certain brain training.

And there are other ways of being and healing that uncover your innate sense of self. Allowing a deeper connection than performing from ego or parts of your personality.

If you’d like to engage on this topic, I’d love to know what trips you up when you’re under pressure. What feels unreliable to you in performance? What has worked for you in finding your grounding and capability? Where and how do you notice limits or stuckness? Are you performing these days and do you enjoy it?

With big love, always,

Marta

PS - No AI used in the writing of this newsletter. All mistakes are mine. Happy to be human in my imperfections and allowing some of them to be seen here today.

Spotlight collapse - 3 realms to address

I’m on a kick of focus around “spotlight collapse” – also known as performance anxiety, also known as stage fright.

This is not just for performers - it’s for anyone who struggles under pressure. That pressure brings a kind of intensity and so much comes to the surface.

It’s a bit like a rainstorm and the sewer system, or the river, or the flood plain. There’s lots of space in theses systems to address water most of the time. But then an intense storm happens (your performance), and the amount of water (your feelings, unaddressed energies) cannot flow all at once.

And then if you haven’t addressed your emotional realm, there’s a lot of backup, taking up space. So your channels for flow are already narrowed because of the build up.

The good news: these pressurized situations are also ideal for healing/growing. The big flow of energy has the potential for cleaning up and clearing out the accumulated debris hanging out in your flow channels.

My suggestion for addressing Spotlight Collapse

1. The mechanicals:

Get some really good practice tools.

Really solid techniques in case fear takes over when you’re in the spotlight.

These have saved my butt big time.

2. Address your emotional roots:

What parts of you get scared? Why? Where did this originate? Performance anxiety is one form of massive inner flags waving, saying HELP ME!!! These cries for help might roar to the surface when you’re under pressure, but it’s most likely under the surface all the time.

3. Get woo-woo:

All of the woo-woo overlaps with the emotional roots, and while some of this may feel like a stretch to some people, it actually ends up being incredibly helpful.

⪼ Conflict shocks are particular events that physically imprint in your brain, your tissues adapt, and your psyche takes on beliefs. There are several types of conflict shocks that particularly contribute to anxiety.

⪼ Your ancestors have been through some serious, life challenging, life-changing sh*t. When those events are big enough, it imprints on the DNA and gets passed down through epigenetics.

Every person I’ve worked with – whew, your ancestors have carried some massive burdens! Your DNA and cells remember this – AND this can be addressed - resolved/evolved/dissolved.

⪼ If you want to get more woo-woo – and I always want to – let’s look at your soul(s). They too have been through the wringer.

This one was one of the major keys for me to more liberation, addressing some of the soul level crap that went down as a musician in another lifetime.

💫 And I’m coming to believe, this is the lifetime to bring in all the lessons, and re-orient towards remembering our divine spark and shine into our gifts - for the world and for our own enjoyment of life!

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These 3 realms you can address on your own. Which is fantastic, because we all need to take responsibility for our own lives, and so much of this involves inner processes.

AND it can expedite your path when working with someone who has already addressed all of these arenas. It gives a sort of blueprint for your energy/spirit to read and it becomes an energetic map that you follow on a subconscious or energetic level.

If you’re interested in getting some help with me, I suggest a free “Soul of your Performer Self - Discovery Call”.

I currently offer sessions as needed for you, so there is no pressure. You sign up for Inner Artist sessions as you feel the need or desire. I’m thinking of putting together some packages though, so you can have a cohesive plan tailored to you. Is this of interest to you?

What tools have you used to address performance anxiety, and what is working well for you these days? What is not working well?

💗 Big love to you! We all need it, and we all deserve it! 💗
Marta

No AI knowingly used in the content of this blog.

Your natural Pro-Creation abilities

✨ I see you, beautiful CREATOR BEING.

You create in every moment.

Your PRO-CREATIVE abilities flow sometimes more easily than others.

Pro-creation held up by fears.

So natural. The old story. And yet so true:

Pro-creation might be held up by wanting to hide, disorganization, resistances, procrastination. Patterns, habits, overwhelmed by culture. The fun of creating drained by school and trainings.

So much held up by FEAR.

Understandable, when we look at our culture now and human history. Those standing out get their heads chopped off, burned at the stake, tortured, bankruptcy, cancel culture and more.

Our little lizard brains remember this….

But we can also address and release these fears!

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Pro-creation conflict shocks

It was my son’s birthday a few weeks ago, and as I do every year, I tune into healing for our shared anniversary. His birth did not go the way I envisioned and I’ve had lots of grief every year around his birthday. This year was my easiest year yet, and the healing was simple and gentle.

I addressed “procreation conflict shocks”. It turns out these can be specific to birth and women’s bodies - as you’d expect - and it can also be for creative life force energy for all humans. Probably our pets too.

Recently I discovered that procreation conflict shocks can also be about the part of the life cycle where energy moves on to its next form. In other, shorter words, death.

>> Conflict shocks - an event or experience strong enough that it imprints on your brain, body, and psyche. Your body and psyche adapt in ways that are bio-logical, but not always pleasant or easy. <<  >>Procreation conflict shocks are experiences that inhibit your pro-creative abilities. ie - traumas that specifically affect your life force energy and your sacral chakra.

Procreation of course has to do with all aspects of creating, growing, holding, birthing, and nurturing a human baby. ✨And Pro-Creation = creative life force energy for all endeavors, for how we live our lives. ✨All the things we need to grow a human apply to life projects - inspiration, love, vitality, follow through, determination. ✨Dealing with failure, mystery, circular or spiral routes. ✨Partnering with the divine, community and loved ones.

Healing your natural life-force energy

If you feel stuck with your creative projects (or pregnancy) explore if “procreation conflict shocks” resonate for you. Place a hand on your belly, breath into your sacral chakra, and ask to be shown if you have Procreation conflict shocks.

Honestly, we probably all do! If this resonates for you, ask to clear, heal and release these energies. Ask to be shown your best way to release. Listen for your guidance and partnership with your higher self and Source/God/Divine Creative Powers.

May we all breath and move with our creative life force energies!

With love and blessings,
marta

PS - everything written by me, no AI involved from the conscious choice level.

Psychic Attacks

Three possible understandings of what this phrase means and what you can do.

Not everyone means the same thing when talking about “psychic attacks”. I myself have used this phrase when I’m feeling amped up with negative emotions but I don’t have a story to explain it. Sometimes that ends up that I’m feeling the energy of the world/collective, but on occasion it has been an actual psychic attack.

This is how I’m working with psychic attacks when clients ask for help with this topic:

1. Negative energies sent by other people

   Someone sending negative energy such as criticism, shame, blame, domination in your direction and you feel it. You might have a sense of who is sending it, or you might just feel weird, rather like your space is getting invaded and you’re uncomfortable. Some people call this “offensive energy”. Which we can also do to our own selves.

2. Conflict shocks and trauma responses masquerading as psychic attacks.

   You’ve been attacked, harmed, hurt in ways that imprint in your brain, making you feel more susceptible to nefarious energy. It might not be anyone or anything doing this to you now, but your brain/nervous system is on high alert, which sometimes has the frustrating effect of bringing this to you. Predatory people sense fear in scared people, and it becomes magnetic. If you live in fear, you can bring these people to you, looking for either proof that the world is terrible and horrifying, or looking for a corrective experience.
   More about conflict shocks here.
   More about fear, anxiety, and high alert nervous system.

3. Negative beings and spiritual interference.

   This can range from mild irritation to causing severe problems - illness, financial ruin, destroying relationships, suicide. These beings might show up in bad dreams, causing a ruckus in daily matters, or amplifying your weak emotional spots. If you tend towards anxiety or anger, for example, it can be heightened and exploited by non-beneficial beings.

A question to ask yourself - please consider with compassion:

What in me is allowing or matching this energy? It takes a lot of growth to get to the point of not allowing it - we’ll all be Buddha or Mother Mary when we get to this point - but exploring this question will lead to great healing.
More about soul-level healing here.

Solutions:

Commands to connect to the one true divine Source. Ask for clarity to be shown in waking or dreams the deepest layer of truth in what you’re experiencing. Commands to clear all unsafety and unworthiness energies. Energy healing sessions + divine pendulum testing to get to the root of what’s going on for you.

What am I missing? How do you perceive and understand psychic attacks?

Emotional causes -> physical symptoms

When physical symptoms won’t resolve

Isn’t it frustrating when you have a physical issue, you know there is an emotional component or trigger for it, yet you haven’t found the way to resolve it yet?

What is it for you? Back pain….tooth decay….memory loss….bone loss….digestive issues…allergies….thyroid imbalance…perimenopause, menopause symptoms…

The frustration of emotional roots

I remember when I was thoroughly immersed in IFS practices, and knowing that emotions were somehow connected to various aches and pains, but I couldn’t quite get to the root of it.

Cold sores as a manifestation of shame. A terrible infected ingrown toenail connected to new motherhood. Frustration that I could make the connection, but I couldn’t get them to heal, even with applying IFS + acupuncture, homeopathy, etc.

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Understanding the body-mind-spirit connection

I’ve been so delighted to make the more formal acquaintance of German New Medicine, another way to identify predictable patterns in body, mind, and spirit.

Of course, you all know I’m not a medical doctor and I’m not diagnosing or curing anyone. And it’s really ridiculous to think that healing only happens under the care of a doctor. * Your body/mind/spirit hold the keys to healing, YOU do your own healing, and it’s a matter of finding the right support people and/or the right systems and frameworks that allow this to happen.

I love this system of German New Medicine very much because it explicitly comes back over and over to the understanding that the body is bio-logical. Our bodies react logically to threat, loss, and suffering.

What are “conflict shocks”?

It all centers around “conflict shocks”:

• an event that’s impactful enough that it leaves an imprint in the brain;

• causing the body tissues to respond in predictable ways;

• imprinting beliefs in the psyche based upon how we interpret the event.

I’ve been so pleased that the style of energy work that I use addresses conflict shocks quite efficiently.

Symptoms I’ve addressed for me, my family, and clients recently:
- foggy brain
- tooth decay and mouth pains
- shoulder hunching/rounding
- watery and itchy eyes
- allergies
- tummy upset, digestive issues, stomach cramps
- esophagus burning
- neck and throat discomforts

I really love how the body brings us on the path of depth and healing. We might be able to ignore the spiritual and emotional symptoms - but when the body speaks, it’s much harder to avoid.

Getting curious, listening, and finding the right tools for full spectrum health will bring blessings.

Blossoming from physical symptoms to more vibrancy in every way

⇝ Healing your digestive issues bring you to better boundaries, which ripples into healthier relationships.

⇝ Addressing teeth and mouth problems connects to nervous system health.

⇝ Getting to the root cause of your shoulder tension allows for deeper flowing in and with life.

⇝ Helping your foggy brain brings you to more meaningful choices.

⇝ Healing acne leads to more confidence and self worth, and not because your skin looks better, but because your skin was reflecting something in your emotions and psyche.

And so on. There’s predictable patterns with the physical symptoms, but each person is unique in how that healing will flow into growing and flourishing.

If you’re interested in learning more and seeing if my approach can help you with your specific situation, please consider a Discovery Call for 25 minutes together. I’m not into sales and pressure. It’s to see if we’re a fit, to see if it feels good to you.

It’s not about being louder

Communicating with truth and power.

Letting go of FORCE in your communication will actually enhance your effectiveness.

As our hearts break as more and more societal illness comes to the surface, as the hidden power dynamics become visible and known, the yelling and chaos seems to build.

We all grapple with the reveals, the changes, pinballing from one disaster to another.

What Happens When the Throat Becomes Free

Freeing your throat and voice channel brings the body, mind and spirit into coherence. Actions and communication from this alignment tap into true power, the kind of power vs force.

Force = yelling; the shoulds

Power = silence, a whisper, a sigh, embodied words, singing, grieving, keening, wailing, linking arms, presence.

It’s Not About Volume, It’s About Coherence

It’s not about the volume. It’s about the coherence, the inner agreement, tapping into your soul level.

We might try to “get it right”, but even that is a trap. It’s not about doing it better, getting it right, perfection.

I daresay we’re in a time of surrender and taking the risk to try something new.

Your Voice-Throat Portal

Laura Kimmel, and I will be leading Your Voice-Throat Portal - energy healing and interactive sessions.

If you know your throat is blocked, the emotions don’t flow,

If you have a thyroid imbalance,

If you think and talk more than you feel,

If you freeze under pressure, you lose the words when it matters,

If you want embodied presence supporting all your sounds,

If you want to let go of perfectionism and enjoy and express,

Then let’s talk. Laura and I are putting together Accelerated Expansion packages. Be first on the list to apply.

Freeing the throat - leading from the heart, opening the flow for courage, clearing the path for more of YOU.