babies

Transition

Transition

I have been in transition for the last year. It started with pregnancy and the knowledge that my life was about to change radically. Even though the pregnancy and the baby were something both my husband and I really wanted, I had mixed feelings about it: through-the-roof excitement combined with fear and anxiety. The fear and anxiety came from knowing that an ending was about to take place – the end of Marta as a non-parent, as a solo entity that can take on all the work I want and can handle. I feared losing my work identity and becoming swallowed up by motherhood.

Fast forward to this summer, baby Loki Lettofsky was born on June 15th. My life indeed changed radically overnight. I was pleased to discover that amidst all the changes, I had a desire to reconnect with work (like prepping for the next session of theMusician's Mastermind!). Instead of my desire for work completely ending, there was room for it, and room for mothering, and the task now is to figure out the new balance and this new me.